How to Get Rid Negative Self-Talk

Last week in "But, What If Their Grace Runs Out On Me" we talked about this idea of gremlins as the negative self-talk we have going on in our minds. At this point I am sure you are thinking that it's great and all to recognize this, but how do I even go about accomplishing this task of destroying the gremlins? Below I have made a list of steps that you can take to help overcome your gremlins. I plan to have a separate blog on each step where I will go in-depth about ways you can accomplish that step of the process.

1. Start recognizing the lies.

2. Begin speaking Truth into those lies.

3. Begin recognizing patterns that lead to you spiraling into this lie.

4. Make a plan to help you stop the train of thought before it becomes consuming.

5. Put a fail-safe in place to keep you from reverting to this way of thinking.

This process will take time, be careful not to add more negative self-talk by beating yourself up for not figuring this out faster. You likely have several years of telling yourself these lies, and just like it's super easy to pack on those pounds, and super difficult to lose them, the same is true for this mental slim down.

I grew up hearing that "practice makes permanent". The more you practice something the wrong way, the harder it will be to change it, but the more you practice the correct way the easier doing it correctly becomes. The way you speak to yourself has been practiced the wrong way. This could be because you learned it from people who also learned it from other people, or it could be from ADHD and the RSD (rejection-sensitive dysphoria - we will get into this later in this blog series) that comes with it. It could be lies others have told you about yourself. It is incredibly difficult to see the good and true things about others when you can't or don't see them in yourself.

Take it in phases, start super small. Maybe it would be helpful for you to follow these steps one internal lie at a time and start back at the beginning for the next lie. Maybe, for you, it looks like just having a conversation with a close friend or loved one to let them know that you now recognize there are instances where you believe irrational and incredibly untrue things about yourself and you need help in loving being shown those things. Each journey will be different, and that is okay. Don't let comparison feed you more lies.

There may be some barriers to beginning this journey to "Mental Freedom" as I call it. In a world where we are told to be true to ourselves, and follow our hearts and "YOLO," we tend to think that we are who we are and there is no changing it. I saw a quote on social media that was by an unknown author said, "The degree to which a person can grow is directly proportional to the amount of truth they can accept about themselves without running away." It can be discouraging as you begin to uncover these lies you have been telling yourself, especially once you begin to see the magnitude in which they have affected your life. The thing to remember here is that you can't go back in time, but you can change the way these things impact your life moving forward, and I hope you feel so empowered by that.

I am not finished with my journey, but I have learned a lot along the way that I hope can help you in your journey as well. Feel free to reach out on social media or in an email if you are feeling alone on this journey, misunderstood, or discouraged, don't try to deal with it alone. As you will see in this series of posts, you may need an outside perspective to weigh in on this process.